NOTE: Pictures indicate series currently covered at Comedy Centric

Original Air Date: March 3, 2008

If you’re a Captain fan, this episode is likely the last new one you’ll ever see. Although it’s only the fifth and six were originally ordered, once again the writers strike has prevented the completion of production on a series. Lackluster ratings and poor audience and critical reception mean it’s highly unlikely the show will get a reprieve in the form of a second-season pickup. Then again, much, much weirder things have happened on TV, so…

…on to the recap.

MARTY interrupts JOSH while he’s slaving over his screenplay. The accountant has big news — he showed Josh’s short film to a new girl he’s dating, and she loved it so much, she showed it to her friend who happens to work as the assistant to VIN KELSO (Guest Star Carlos Jacott), president of production at Paramount Pictures. Kelso loved the film, too, which is why Josh now has a meeting with him to discuss the screenplay he’s currently writing.

Josh grows nervous quickly because (1) he’s still in the process of writing the screenplay and (2) he’s never met with anyone that high up in the entertainment industry. Thankfully (or not), UNCLE SAUL offers his services pro bono to help Josh with the preliminaries. Meanwhile, JESUS is psyched because it’s time for the annual smoke detector checks, which means he gets to enter everybody’s apartment … legally.

During Josh’s prep meeting with Uncle Saul, the older writer throws a pillow at him and tells him about the pet monkey that put its diaper on its head like a hat while French kissing his ear. This happened during an important meeting Saul once had with an entertainment executive, and the moral of the story is that Josh must control the room during his sit-down with Kelso. He cannot let anything distract him while pitching his screenplay.

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Original Air Date: February 25, 2008

The fourth installment of Welcome to the Captain is just what I’ve come to expect from the series: another middle-of-the-road episode that’s unmemorable yet occasionally funny.

After watching one of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre flicks with an unbelievably squeamish and girly HOPE — her brother has done the special effects for all of them and is irked because she hasn’t seen a single one — JOSH returns to his apartment for a complaint session with his best friend MARTY, who apparently still hasn’t moved back to his own apartment.

Hope’s boyfriend Lucas called during the movie, and Josh is upset because Hope said she wasn’t doing anything when Lucas asked. Josh now thinks he’ll never get anywhere with her, so he’s decided to get on with his life and meet other women. The decision brings great joy to ladies’ man Marty, of course.

On their way out later, Josh and Marty run into UNCLE SAUL and JESUS, who somehow know about their plans to hit the town and are pumped to go, too. The group gets past the long line at the nightclub when the bouncer mistakes Uncle Saul for Dr. Phil McGraw and lets them in. Josh refuses Marty’s help with pickup lines, and he meets a cute girl named MELANIE at the bar simply by saying hello and telling her his name.

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After tonight, just one more episode of Welcome to the Captain will remain in its first season. Place your bets now on whether or not the series will get picked up for a second go-round. I’m thinking it probably won’t.

Nevertheless, CBS is obviously feeling extra generous this week since the network has released not one, but two Sneak Peek clips for the show. In the first video, daytime attendant Jesus and airheaded actress Astrid get down to silly business, while in the second, nice-guy Josh attends a meeting with a not-so-nice entertainment executive named Vin Kelso.

Two pieces of trivia: (1) Valerie Azlynn, who plays Astrid, guest stars on the March 16th episode of Fox’s new sitcom Unhitched, and (2) the showbiz honcho in the second clip is played by one Carlos Jacott, who also happened to guest star on all three of Joss Whedon’s mega popular TV series — Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Firefly. Whenever I see Jacott somewhere, I always immediately think about his memorable role on the first earlier David Boreanaz show.

Now on to the goodies…

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Original Air Date: February 18, 2008

One morning in his apartment, JOSH informs MARTY that he and Shampoo Girl (her real name is EDWINA, which is why Marty prefers the nickname) have got to leave because the sounds of them having sex is ruining the peace and quiet he needs to work on his screenplay. He then heads downstairs to go jogging and winds up sharing the elevator with HOPE. When Hope reveals that she’s been feeling lonely because her boyfriend Lucas is in New York, Josh invites her to his apartment that night at 8pm for a casual, friendly dinner.

In the lobby, the two bump into UNCLE SAUL and JESUS. After Hope leaves, Uncle Saul asks Josh what he’s going to make for the woman he loves. When Josh reveals he just plans to cook up spaghetti and meatballs, the older man attempts to convince him that he needs to do something more elaborate in tune with Hope’s greatest culinary desires.

Josh walks into his bathroom later that day and finds Edwina giving Marty highlights over the sink. He has a meeting with JOEY FATONE and wants to impress the celebrity to gain his business. The conversation is interrupted by Uncle Saul and Jesus, who are at the door with a bag of Hope’s trash.

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Oooh, lucky Josh. On Welcome to the Captain’s “Mr. Big Meeting” episode, he gets to meet with the president of Paramount. Maybe he can convince the entertainment bigwig to put him on a better TV show.

Welcome to the Captain airs Mondays on CBS at 8:30pm EST.

The February 25th episode of Welcome to the Captain marks the series’ halfway point for the first season since only six episodes were ordered and completed. In the unlikely event that you’re a fan, I should also note that it’s equally unlikely the sitcom will return for a second season. While many agree Captain’s not as bad as some early reviews insinuated, the show isn’t necessarily good either.

On “The Wrecking Crew,” the men and women of The Captain split up for some gender-specific fun on the town. I’m guessing from the title that there’ll be a little havoc involved, as well.

Welcome to the Captain airs Mondays on CBS at 8:30pm EST.

Original Air Date: February 11, 2008

JOSH agrees to let HOPE practice on him for her exam the following Monday. When they get to her apartment, however, her brother BRAD is back from New Zealand for the weekend in order to propose to his girlfriend NAOMI. Consequently, he needs Hope to find somewhere else to stay for the next few days, and, of course, Josh volunteers his place.

After Josh gets MARTY to return to his own apartment although he’s broken up with CLAIRE — whom he put on his lease after just two weeks together — Hope moves in temporarily. The pair have a great first night, but the situation sours a bit when Hope flosses her teeth in front of Josh, indicating she’s a little too comfortable around him.

UNCLE SAUL and JESUS both warned Josh that staying with Hope in the same apartment, even for only a couple of days, would take the mystery and attraction out of their fledgling relationship and guarantee they’ll never be anything more than friends. Now Josh sees the busybodies were correct.

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A new episode of Welcome to the Captain airs tonight at 8:30pm EST.

In the preview following the jump for “Weekend at Saul’s,” Jeffrey Tambor’s Uncle Saul tries once more to ask Raquel Welch’s sexy Charlene out on a date … with a nosy Jesus keeping diligent watch.

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