First up during the ten-episode run is the season premiere, which has the undeniably charming title “The Proof Is in the Penis.”

When Sarah’s sister Laura decides it’s time for Sarah to toughen up a bit, she lies that her sibling was born with both male and female genitalia, hence the lovely title.

Meanwhile, haunted by Mr. Jenkins’ ghost, Brian and Steve attempt to end the spooky business once and for all by returning the deadly TV remote that killed him to his body.

Check out an episode sneak peek and Season Three trailer below.

The Sarah Silverman Program airs Thursdays on Comedy Central at 10:30pm ET.

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Now that Belle’s first book has been published, it’s no surprise that the accomplishment plays a central role in her life.

She not only goes undercover in disguise to attend the party in honor of the book’s launch so she can observe people’s real reaction to it, but she also finds herself under pressure from her publisher to write a follow-up book. If only Belle were certain she has enough to discuss in a second volume.

Meanwhile, in the midst of Belle’s newfound success as an author, her sister Jackie arrives without notice after she discovers her husband is an adulterer. Guess who she wants to be her new roommate in her time of distress.

Check out two sneak peeks for the February 1 third-season premiere below: First Review (Belle pays her publisher a visit) and Great Disguise (Belle attends the party for her book launch dressed in disguise).

Season Three episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl will air Mondays on Showtime at 10pm ET, beginning on February 1.

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Some folks who wouldn’t normally watch might want to tune in because the episode features guest star Taye Diggs of Private Practice and Day Break.

He plays Greg, who’s matched with Linda as a potential romantic interest when Veridian Dynamics gets the wacky idea of pairing employees based on their genetic profile. Why? As always, to improve the bottom line, which means saving on health insurance costs caused by imperfect children with medical needs.

Ted and Linda don’t want to play along at first, until they meet their respective matches and get happy. Guest star Virginia Williams (How I Met Your Mother) plays Ted’s match Danielle.

Veronica isn’t spared from the matchmaking process, either. She ends up paired with her ideal genetic hookup Lem, who she then insists should donate sperm to a sperm bank.

Preview the premiere in the two sneak peeks below: Bear (Linda and Greg chat during a dinner date) and Utah (Ted’s adventures in genetic matchmaking).

Better Off Ted airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9:30pm ET.

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The transplanted NBC series is also marking its second season on ABC with the premiere episode “Our First Day of School,” which was written by series creator Bill Lawrence.

The plot revolves around J.D., Turk, Dr. Cox, Dr. Kelso, and intern Denise returning to fictional Sacred Heart Hospital to teach medical school. Meanwhile, new medical students Cole, Drew, Cole, Lucy, and Maya are given a typically hard time on their very first day of classes.

There’s also a bit of a cast shake-up for the new season. The show’s regulars are now Zach Braff (J.D.), Donald Faison (Chris Turk), John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox), Eliza Coupe (Denise), Kerry Bishe (Lucy), Michael Mosley (Drew), and Dave Franco (Cole). However, familiar faces Sarah Chalke (Elliot), Ken Jenkins (Dr. Kelso), Neil Flynn (The Janitor), and Robert Maschio (Todd) are billed as guest stars.

A second new episode called “Our Drunk Friend” will follow the 9pm ET season premiere at 9:30pm. While Lucy is busy discovering how difficult being a doctor can be, J.D., Turk, and Dr. Kelso busy themselves interfering with Denise and Drew, who they think have the potential for a hookup.

Meet a few new Scrubs players and sneak two advance peeks at the season premiere below. J.D. arrives to teach at Sacred Heart in the first preview called Jugs (yes, those kinds of jugs), and sunshine-y Lucy tries really, really hard to make a friend in the second clip named after her.

Scrubs airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9pm ET.

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First up at 9pm ET is the season premiere “Where’s The Payne?.”

The stage is set for C.J., Janine, Jazmine, and Claretha to all begin living at the Payne home when Claretha returns without her husband and moves in. Meanwhile, Curtis discovers he’s being forced to retire from his job, and Calvin learns that Miranda has gone missing.

Next at 9:30pm is “Recurring Paynes.” Miranda’s mother visits to confront Calvin about her missing daughter after he’s named a prime suspect in the matter. Elsewhere, C.J., Janine, and Jazmine arrive and move in with Curtis and Ella until they find their own house, and C.J. hides a secret about Curtis’ forced retirement.

New episodes of Tyler Perry’s House of Payne air Wednesdays on TBS at 9pm and 9:30pm ET.

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During the premiere succinctly titled “Season 4,” the 30 Rockefeller Plaza gang struggles with the recession and money matters. Yeah, that’s a popular theme on TV shows these days.

After Jack tells Liz, Tracy, and Jenna that TGS needs to be more relevant to viewers, Tracy tries to get back in touch with the common man and Jenna opts for an image makeover.

Meanwhile, Jack also gives Liz and Pete the task of finding fresh talent for TGS, and Kenneth finds his inner agitator as he leads a Page strike.

Check out a couple of previews below.

30 Rock airs Thursdays on NBC at 9:30pm ET.

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The candid-camera-style show resumes its third season on October 6 at 9pm ET with the premiere episode “Basket Case.”

Continue below for a nice sneak peek that proves the series is still up to the same old fun bag of tricks. Even so, it’s hard to believe the unfortunate dupes don’t realize they’re being pranked sooner. Come on now!

New episodes of Scare Tactics air Tuesdays on Syfy at 9pm ET, followed by encore episodes at 9:30pm.

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During the episode, Hallie confesses to Rita…

…that she and Kip are ready to start having sex. Being the good mom that she is, Rita eventually takes the bombshell in stride and decides to make a trip to the doctor with Hallie so she can learn about birth control.

As a result of the visit, Rita becomes nostalgic about how fast her daughters are growing up. And then she gets the unexpected news that she’s pregnant herself.

Take a quick peek at Season Two of Rita Rocks in the following preview clip.

NOTE: Starting Tuesday, October 13, Rita Rocks will move to its regular Lifetime time slot of 10:30pm ET on Tuesdays. However, from Monday, October 5, until Friday, October 9, new episodes will air daily at 7:30pm ET.

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The first thing longtime viewers might notice about the show is that Season Three regular J.B. Smoove, who played Eddie Stark’s overgrown “little brother” Kenny, is gone.

New to the cast are Lindsey Broad (The Burg), who replaces Breaking Bad’s Krysten Ritter as the Starks’ only child Ally, and Timm Sharp (Undeclared) as Ally’s new husband Doug Von Stuessen.

During the season premiere, Eddie and Joy get the surprise of their life when Ally returns from a trip to the Ecuadorian rain forest with her new husband in tow. After the newlyweds park their trailer-slash-home in the Starks’ backyard, they end up interfering with Eddie’s goal of installing a Jacuzzi. And, of course, neither parent likes Doug, so they have to try as hard as they can to accept him into the family anyway.

Preview photos for “Doug and Ally Return” follow.

Eddie and Joy adjust to having their daughter Ally and her new husband Doug living in their backyard

Eddie and Joy chat with Ally and her new husband Doug

Eddie tries to adjust to Doug living in his backyard

Eddie and Doug have a “passionate” discussion in the trailer

Eddie and Joy are happy their daughter has moved back home

‘Til Death airs Fridays on Fox at 8:30pm ET.

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A noteworthy treat for fans is the fact that series star David Duchovny directed the season opener, which features a slew of talented guest stars that include Jason Beghe (Cane), Embeth Davidtz (In Treatment), Diane Farr (Num3ers), Peter Gallagher (The O.C.), Kathleen Turner (Romancing the Stone), and Alicia Witt (Law & Order: Criminal Intent).

Here’s what happens: Following Karen’s departure for New York, Hank attempts to raise Becca by himself. However, he soon realizes that life isn’t easy for a single father, particularly when Becca begins rebelling against his parental authority. Even worse, Becca is now hanging out with new BFF Chelsea (Ellen Davis Woglom, Viva Laughlin), a girl who loves her some drama, drugs, and sex.

After meeting Chelsea’s straight-laced mother Felicia (Davidtz), a teacher at a local university, Hank accepts a dinner invitation against his better judgment. At the gathering, he tries to get along with Felicia’s fellow academics, including Felicia’s uptight husband Stacy Koons (Gallagher), the Dean of the university. Of course, that doesn’t work for long and Hank eventually stirs the pot a whole lot when he downs some booze with a teetotaling professor.

Elsewhere, Charlie moves back in with his pending ex-wife Marcy while they sort out the details of their divorce, and he also starts working at a talent agency owned by fading super-agent Sue Collini (Turner).

Sneak two peeks at “Wish You Were Here” in the following preview clips: All Yours Sue (introducing Charlie’s new boss Sue Collini) and Becca’s Father (when Hank meets Felicia).

Californication airs Sundays on Showtime at 10pm ET.

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