Don’t forget Jim Belushi et al. fans: The eighth season of ABC’s family sitcom According to Jim kicks off at 9pm EST tomorrow night with a couple of back-to-back episodes.

First up at 9pm is “The Blankie,” during which Jim lays a major guilt trip on his oldest three children when one of the new twin arrivals’ blanket disappears. Jim is pitching in with the infants after Cheryl blows a gasket — or two — doing everything herself.

Longtime viewers know the drill from there. Newbies, that means that after a whole lot of drama, we’ll eventually learn Jim is wrong and everybody else has been victimized by his customary zeal to make others do what he wants.

The hour closes with “The New Best Friend,” which involves lots of reluctant holiday shopping on Jim’s part after Cheryl’s sister and best friend Dana moves away. So, what does Jim do when he realizes he can’t take hanging out with his wife that much? Well, he decides it’s his job to find her a new BFF, STAT. Sounds like a plan.

According to Jim airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9pm EST until the end of the year. The series then moves to Tuesdays at 8pm in 2009.

ABC has set the return date for its long-running family sitcom According to Jim.

The network plans to begin airing fresh episodes on Tuesday, December 2, at 9pm EST.

Season Eight will also kick off with two back-to-back episodes, an hourlong format currently scheduled for the remainder of December.

Original Air Date: April 15, 2008

Forgotten Gifts

As usual, everyone’s hanging out at JIM and CHERYL’s house, including ANDY, and Jim notices that the $200 gift certificate he gave Andy on his birthday for Sir Steven B’s Steakhouse will expire the very next day. He knows Andy hasn’t used it yet either because he’s been keeping close tabs on what Andy eats ever since the birthday boy promised to take him along for a meal.

Instead of just reminding Andy outright, as sensible RUBY suggests when her father brings up the subject with her, Jim is determined to not injure his “pointless male pride.” So, off he goes to the restaurant by himself to stuff his face with three steaks, a rack of lamb, and everything on the desert menu, to the ultimate tune of $198.50.

Remembered Gifts

Too bad, then, that Andy drops by the house — again — that night with the news that he just found the gift certificate between the cushions of the couch where it fell. The discovery reminded him he has until the next day to use it. He invites Jim to come along as originally planned, forcing Jim to agree to another huge meal that will have to be paid for somehow.

Once more, sensible and smart Ruby speaks up and suggests that her dad slip the waiter $200 so Andy won’t know anything is wrong with his gift certificate. Jim agrees amazingly … until he and Andy have finished their meal and, in the high-calorie and fat-filled afterglow, Andy notes that the $200 gift was an amazing present from someone as cheap as Jim. Oh no!

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Uh-oh. On “The Chaperone,” the April 29 episode of According to Jim, it looks like Andy will finally get a girl with staying power … or will he?

Actually, that’s not the main plot of the episode, though. Of more concern is Andy’s new girlfriend’s kids, who accompany Jim and his daughters to an event and then can’t be located when Andy shows up unexpectedly to check on them. Will Andy kill Jim for messing up his golden opportunity with the ideal woman or will everything end up okay? Tune in to find out.

Mo Collins of Mad TV, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, Family Guy, Arrested Development, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin guest stars as Emily, the woman who gets Andy all excited.

According to Jim airs Tuesdays on ABC at 8pm EST.

It seems to make no sense, but the title of the April 22 episode of According to Jim, “I Drink Your Milkshake,” will become clear as the plot unfolds.

The tables turn on Jim when he finds himself the target of a disciplinary measure he developed to keep his kids in line. Think reality shows like Survivor and how decisions are made in the wild. And, yes, Andy has something to do with it.

Nice additions to the child-themed episode are The Suite Life of Zack and Cody’s Cole Sprouse and Dylan Sprouse, who make guest appearances.

According to Jim airs Tuesdays on ABC at 8pm EST.

There’s excellent news from ABC for all of the people who’ve been wondering if the long-running sitcom According to Jim would return — the answer is yes, as of tonight.

The April 15 episode “The Gift Certificate,” the first new installment of the series since March 11, is all about Jim and Andy. The two men get caught in some nonsense or other involving an unused gift certificate for a restaurant that’s about to expire. Few can pass up the opportunity for free food, and Jim and Andy definitely aren’t among them.

According to Jim airs Tuesdays on ABC at 8pm EST.

Original Air Date: March 4, 2008

JIM and ANDY come home, and Jim warns his brother-in-law to be quiet because CHERYL, who’s been on edge lately due to the pregnancy, is upstairs resting. When he goes to the bedroom to check on her, his wife informs him that her doctor has instructed her to remain on bedrest until after the twins are born. Worse (for Jim), she’s also advised not to have sex until then.

Jim quickly gets over that double whammy, and then Cheryl informs him of one more problem. Before he “knocked her up,” Cheryl had reserved the Cotillion Room at the National Girl Store for GRACIE’s upcoming 12th birthday party, which will feature ten girls having high tea. She’s concerned that now she’ll have to cancel the event and disappoint her daughter. Surprisingly or naively — take your pick — Jim offers to handle the gathering himself.

And, he does. The party is a high-class, boring affair led by an uptight employee at the store named MRS. WHITNEY (Guest Star Beth Grant), whom Andy decides he must have, of course. Gracie looks surprisingly sullen throughout the party, however, despite being the guest of honor. Jim notices her sad demeanor when the store employee leaves to get the birthday cake, and after asking Gracie what’s wrong, he learns she wanted to have the party a year ago when Cheryl made the reservation, but she’s since outgrown dolls.

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Original Air Date: February 26, 2008

After a silly opening scene where JIM and ANDY mop the kitchen floor with KYLE, who’s wrapped in paper, the men hold band practice in the garage. The group is just a trio of harmonica, keyboards, and drums after Jim fired the other two members due to the five-piece band’s inability to fit in the crowded garage. Boxes are everywhere, and they’re filled with the kids’ baby stuff, which CHERYL is saving because she’s a hoarder.

Jim, looking extremely forward to his three children growing up and getting out, is convinced they don’t need any of the stuff anymore. As a result, he decides to get rid of it all while his wife’s in Florida because it is easier to ask for forgiveness after the fact rather than permission beforehand.

So, Jim arranges for a homeless charity to stop by and pick up everything that belonged to the kids when they were younger. This scene includes a very unflattering and unfunny segment with Jim first remarking to his daughter RUBY that the charity is for kids in Africa, and then repeatedly calling the homeless “hobos” when the charity’s representative, PHIL (Bruce Jarchow), corrects him. Talk about tasteless.

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On the “Pregnancy Brain” episode of According to Jim, Jim takes advantage of Cheryl’s forgetfulness during her pregnancy with twins.

When she apparently doesn’t remember Jim agreeing to her request to transform the basement into a new room for Gracie and Ruby, Jim pretends as if she instead suggested that he turn it into an entertainment room for — guess who — him.

Who needs a spouse like that, I ask? Kick him to the curb, girl, or else send him to grow-up school.

According to Jim airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9pm EST.

Original Air Date: February 19, 2008

It’s breakfast time, and JIM promises the kids their choice of cereal, although the only kind in the cabinet is Raisin Bran. KYLE notes that the milk is out of date, too, but Jim assures the kids that dates on milk mean nothing. That’s just the milk lobby’s method of trying to scare moms into buying more of the beverage. When he pours some milk on Kyle’s cereal, however, it’s lumpy and congealed and extremely disgusting. As RUBY and GRACIE hold their noses, Jim announces that breakfast has changed from “cereal of your choice” to “cereal and cottage cheese.”

ANDY drops by later while Jim is in the living room folding laundry. Psyched, Andy goes on and on about his new girlfriend and the “sex trifecta” they just had. Jim comments that given the kind of women Andy dates, it’s more likely a sex in-fecta.

Andy’s boasts remind Jim how long CHERYL has been in Florida taking care of her and Andy’s mother, who broke her hip falling down off of her gardener Orlando in the shower (Andy thought she had fallen down in a mall in Orlando). So, when Ruby brings him the laptop later after a computer chat with her mother, Jim gets extra excited upon learning that Cheryl is coming home for a couple of days. Unfortunately, when she arrives, the kids command her attention with their whines for her to bake them a cake.

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