January 20th, 2008
Tyler Perry’s House of Payne Episode Guide
Tyler Perry’s House of Payne Website
Season 2 [2007–2008]
Bully and the Beast (201)
Curtis is bothered by the constant stream of visitors coming through his house. When he ends up having to go to a conference with the school principal, he learns the child bullying his nephew C.J.’s son, Malik, is actually a girl, Nikki. But when Curtis meets Nikki’s foster mother, Madea, he cowers to her own bullying personality.
Original Air Date: June 6, 2007
I Can Cry If I Want To (202)
C.J.’s house burns down, prompting the decision that C.J. and his family will stay with Curtis and Ella for the time being. But Curtis lays down the law on how the house is going to be run.
Original Air Date: June 6, 2007
More Than Meets the Eye (203)
Calvin tells C.J. that he heard on the street that it was arson that caused C.J.’s house to burn down. So C.J. decides it’s time to get to the bottom of things.
Original Air Date: June 13, 2007
Busted (204)
Janine borrows money from Calvin and uses it to buy drugs, returning home more hopped up than ever. Ella, Calvin, Curtis, and Claretha decide it’s time to tell C.J. about Janine’s crack addiction. After learning the truth, C.J. confronts Janine, and she confesses to doing drugs and burning down the house. Then she decides to leave C.J. and the kids.
Original Air Date: June 13, 2007
Lost and Found (205)
Janine is still missing, and the family is starting to get worried. Meanwhile, Curtis is getting more and more frustrated over the fact that he has no quiet time in his house.
Original Air Date: June 20, 2007
Down and Outted (206)
C.J. is down in the dumps over finding Janine in a crack house, and it’s starting to affect his work and his relationship with his children. Curtis is especially concerned because he believes, after seeing Malik in a ballerina tutu that the boy might be turning gay.
Original Air Date: June 20, 2007
No Money, Mo’ Problems (207)
Curtis offers his retirement money to C.J. so he can move his family out of Curtis & Ella’s house. When C.J. accepts the offer, Curtis can’t help him move out fast enough. But things come to a halt when Janine shows up and says she’s been clean for two days.
Original Air Date: June 27, 2007
Just Say No (208)
Jazmine comes home extremely upset after a graphic and intense anti-drug presentation at school. C.J. tries to talk to her without revealing the truth about Janine, but in the end, he spells out the situation for Jazmine.
Original Air Date: June 27, 2007
Surprise, Surprise (209)
Janine’s righteous parents come to the Payne’s household looking for her. C.J. informs them of her serious personal issues.
Original Air Date: July 4, 2007
Father Knows Best (210)
Janine’s parents file for custody of Jazmine and Malik. Meanwhile, Curtis’ firehouse wins an award for fastest response time, leading to their fastest truck being stolen.
Original Air Date: July 4, 2007
I Keep Coming Up Short (211)
Curtis and Ella finally get some alone time at home, but disaster strikes when Curtis is unable to “perform.” Meanwhile, C.J. is up to his eyeballs trying to get creditors off his back from all the debt Janine racked up.
Original Air Date: July 11, 2007
The Buck Stops Here (212)
While expecting the impending arrival of a new female firefighter, who simply may stir up their male-dominated world, the firehouse guys fire up fund-raising concepts for charity.
Original Air Date: July 11, 2007
Wax On, Wax Off (213)
When Malik gets excessively consumed with taking showers, Ella worries that he has OCD. In the meantime with help from Curtis the firehouse crew gets ready for the annual inspection.
Original Air Date: July 18, 2007
Head of the Class (214)
While Curtis and Ella enter in an art class jointly, Jazmine makes up her mind to enter politics by running for school president.
Original Air Date: July 18, 2007
Paternity and Fraternity, Part 1 (215)
C.J. discovers the shocking possibility that he may have another daughter besides Jazmine. And Malik causes concern in the household after he starts hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Original Air Date: July 25, 2007
Paternity and Fraternity, Part 2 (216)
Conclusion of Part 1.
Original Air Date: July 25, 2007
Cracking Under Pressure (217)
Janine and her “friends” steal from the Payne household. And Calvin trains for a marathon.
Original Air Date: August 1, 2007
Club PCP (218)
Ella, Curtis, C.J., and the kids head to Florida to visit relatives, leaving Calvin in charge of the house. Never one to turn down a money-making opportunity, Calvin enlists the help of his “homeboys” Pookie and Peanut to set up a house party. But Calvin is called away to a fire in the midst of the party, leaving Pookie and Peanut in charge.
Original Air Date: August 1, 2007
Sadly Mistaken (219)
Ella is arrested in a case of mistaken identity, while Calvin has difficulty cramming for his mid-terms.
Original Air Date: August 8, 2007
And Justice for All (220)
Curtis tries every trick in the book to get out of jury duty, but Claretha, who has also been summoned, convinces him to go. They both wind up chosen for the jury. And to make matters worse for Curtis, Claretha is voted as forewoman. Meanwhile, Malik discovers the joys of online dating when he sets up his own Web profile with the help of his friend, Kevin. But he winds up getting in the worst possible situation.
Original Air Date: August 8, 2007
I Got the Hook Up (221)
Newly divorced C.J. finds that everyone in his life wants to “hook him up” with a date, and they all have the perfect woman for him. Growing tension between Angel and Calvin lead everyone to believe they have feelings for one another. Meanwhile, a woman with HIV volunteers at the Help Center.
Original Air Date: August 15, 2007
Absolutely Positive (222)
Curtis has to undergo a colonoscopy, but he’s nervous about it. He finally agrees, but after the doctor finds a polyp, Curtis becomes convinced he’s going to die. Meanwhile, Calvin begins dating Karen, but Ella is concerned that he doesn’t know about Karen’s HIV status.
Original Air Date: August 15, 2007
Teacher’s Pet (223)
There’s a huge storm over Atlanta, and the firehouse is buzzing with calls for help. Meanwhile, Ella and Claretha go to pick up the kids from school, but C.J. doesn’t get their message and heads over to the school himself. Upon arriving, he finds out Ella, Claretha, and the kids have already left, but he also meets assistant principal Nicole Jamieson. They feel an instant chemistry and decide to remain together to ride out the storm.
Original Air Date: August 22, 2007
The Perfect Storm (224)
C.J. has a hot date with Nicole and leaves the kids with Calvin babysitting. But Jazmine has a big test on fractions, and Malik isn’t the best tutor. So Jazmine decides to cheat on the test instead. Meanwhile, C.J.’s date ends with Nicole informing him that she’s not going to have sex until she’s married.
Original Air Date: August 22, 2007
Sad, Sad Leroy Brown, Part 1 (225)
Curtis’s neighbor Mr. Brown moves in with the Payne family after he loses his house to a fire, just like C.J. did. While staying with the Payne’s, Brown proves to be a less than desirable house guest. Meanwhile, Calvin finds love in the arms of a con artist.
Original Air Date: August 29, 2007
Sad, Sad Leroy Brown, Part 2 (226)
Growing tired and annoyed of Brown’s presence in his home, Curtis gets into a physical altercation with him, forcing Brown to stay even longer. Malik continues to be influenced by the wrong crowd and decides to get a tattoo, which proves to be a bad decision when it gets infected.
Original Air Date: August 29, 2007
Weeping May Endure for a Night (227)
Mr. Brown shares his plans to turn his deceased father’s home into an “old folks” home, much to the dismay of Curtis. Meanwhile, Calvin goes on a really disastrous date, but gets inspired to start a new online dating website.
Original Air Date: September 5, 2007
The Big Test (228)
After his first date with Nicole, C.J. looks to take their relationship to the next level and is unable to understand a promise she has made related to relationships. Meanwhile, with an assist from Malik, Jazmine cheats on a math test.
Original Air Date: September 5, 2007
Balancing Act (229)
C.J. tries to find time for Nicole without neglecting the children. Meanwhile, Jazmine hopes a new look will attract the attention of Malik’s friend.
Original Air Date: September 12, 2007
Why Can’t We Be Friends (230)
Jazmine’s friend, Tiffany, convinces Jazmine that C.J. is going to marry Nicole and move to San Francisco with Nicole just like her Dad did when he remarried. Jazmine and Tiffany devise a plan to break up C.J. and Nicole. Meanwhile, Curtis and Malik clean out the attic and bond.
Original Air Date: September 12, 2007
Dog Day Afternoon (231)
While Malik must make a documentary for a school assignment, Curtis is unknowingly roped into assisting a bank robber.
Original Air Date: September 19, 2007
New Beginnings (232)
When his divorce from Janine is at last finalized, C.J. attempts to start life anew, and his firehouse buddies urge him to savor the single life. Meanwhile, Janine tries to reconnect with the Paynes.
Original Air Date: September 19, 2007
Heavy Petting (233)
When a old friend of C.J.’s turns up, they stir up jealousy in Nicole, which causes C.J. and Nicole’s budding romance to hit a bump. In the meantime, the Payne children push to get a pooch.
Original Air Date: September 19, 2007
The Fast and the Furious (234)
While a really cool kid from New York City comes and strikes up a friendship with Malik, Curtis sets out to purchase a motorcycle. But he needs to tap into his retirement fund to do so.
Original Air Date: September 19, 2007
Gone in 60 Seconds (235)
Curtis surprises the family with a new motorcycle, but his new bike causes more trouble than any one family could ever imagine.
Original Air Date: September 26, 2007
Lost Without U (236)
C.J. and Nicole’s relationship is seriously tested when Nicole’s jealousy gets out of hand, but that’s the least of C.J.’s problems. Uncle Curtis filed charges against Malik, who faces time in prison for stealing and wrecking Uncle Curtis’ motorcycle. Meanwhile, the firehouse crew must find a way to get Curtis back into the house that Ella kicked him out of before they go insane.
Original Air Date: September 26, 2007
I Rest My Case (237)
Malik and his friend Kyle go to a court hearing for stealing and wrecking Uncle Curtis’ bike, but Uncle Curtis’ plan to teach the boys a lesson backfires when Malik and Kyle are sent to prison.
Original Air Date: September 26, 2007
A House Is Not a Home (238)
C.J. finally finds an apartment that seems too good to be true, which is exactly what it turns out to be. Meanwhile, Ella has been offering assistance to Janine while keeping it a secret from the rest of the family. But Janine starts to take advantage of Ella’s kindness.
Original Air Date: December 5, 2007
Home Alone (239)
Now that their home is finally their own, Ella and Curtis decide to celebrate, ignoring C.J.’s constant phone calls. But their bliss soon ends when a dangerous robbery at C.J.’s apartment prompts Ella to invite them to move back in.
Original Air Date: December 5, 2007
The Wench Who Saved Christmas (240)
Tyler Perry’s famed character Madea makes a return visit to the Payne household to teach Curtis a lesson in the holiday spirit. This special holiday-themed episode opens as Curtis has problems containing his excitement over a vacation he and Ella have planned to take to Hawaii. But with C.J.’s kids celebrating Christmas for the first time since their mom left, Ella decides to cancel the vacation, sending Curtis into a Scrooge-like tantrum that only Madea can snap.
Original Air Date: December 5, 2007
Trial by Fire, Part 1 (241)
In the first of a three-part story Curtis’ fire crew gets called to a major fire, which Calvin sees as a perfect opportunity to show he’s more than just a volunteer. But his attempt to prove himself puts him and C.J. in an extremely dangerous situation. Meanwhile, Malik goes overboard trying to impress his new girlfriend, Taylor, with his coolness on the phone. But when she shows up for their date, his coolness freezes up, and she becomes the smooth operator.
Original Air Date: December 5, 2007
Trial by Fire, Part 2 (242)
The search progresses for C.J., who’s trapped in a fire-ravaged structure. And love is blind for young Malik, whose crush on Taylor continues.
Original Air Date: December 12, 2007
Trial by Fire, Part 3 (243)
Conclusion of Parts 1 and 2.
Original Air Date: December 12, 2007
Crazy in Love (244)
Curtis’ old friend sets his sights on Claretha, and Ella doesn’t it like it one bit. Meanwhile, C.J. is stalked by a woman he rescued.
Original Air Date: December 12, 2007
Reality Check (245)
The firehouse becomes the subject of a reality show titled “Sparks,” but the firefighters get burned when the host manipulates their interviews. Elsewhere, Ella takes the children to visit Janine — without C.J.’s consent.
Original Air Date: December 12, 2007
Piece of Mind (246)
The Payne family agrees to go to a family therapist … all except Curtis, who is dragged to the session unwillingly. During the session, the therapist speaks with each family member individually, uncovering the issues they’ve been facing for the past six months. That the therapist is able to learn anything about the family is a miracle considering Curtis’ penny-pinching interruptions.
Original Air Date: December 19, 2007
There’s No Place Like Home (247)
Janine is released from rehab and comes to Ella to get help in preparing for a job interview. She also needs a place to stay temporarily, and Ella offers her the couch, upsetting C.J. and Curtis in the process. Meanwhile, Curtis fails his annual physical and has to go on a diet.
Original Air Date: December 19, 2007
Mommie Dearest (248)
Janine’s return home causes problems for Malik, who is embarrassed by the teasing he receives from his classmates over his mother being a drug addict. Malik’s attitude is made all the worse after seeing C.J. and Curtis’ disrespectful behavior towards his mom.
Original Air Date: December 26, 2007
You Big Dummy (249)
Janine takes the kids for an impromptu excursion to an amusement park, but she neglects to tell C.J. C.J.’s anger at her, however, takes a backseat to his frustration at Calvin, who has been dating Tracie without mentioning anything to C.J. despite C.J.’s obvious feelings for her.
Original Air Date: December 26, 2007
It’s a Boy (250)
With the fire crew on a call and Ella stuck in traffic, Curtis is faced with a pregnant woman about to have her baby in the fire house. Meanwhile, Calvin’s relationship with Tracie hits a speed bump after she begins to suspect he’s nothing but an overgrown kid.
Original Air Date: January 2, 2008
Aches and Paynes (251)
Calvin starts to step up his game with Tracie, proving he can truly be a man when he wants to be. But he’s not prepared for the shock she is about to deliver. Jazmine, meanwhile, is suffering from a toothache, but after hearing horror stories from Malik, she’s petrified of going to the dentist.
Original Air Date: January 2, 2008
The Big Bang Theory (252)
Janine’s old drug dealer, Blue, comes around looking for money she owes her. Feeling concerned for everyone’s safety, Curtis decides to buy a handgun. Meanwhile, Malik is being bullied at school, and it’s starting to take its toll on him.
Original Air Date: January 9, 2008
Step It Up (253)
Curtis and Ella’s niece Renee comes to town for a scholarship interview, but her appearance doesn’t exactly make her look like scholarship material. Meanwhile, Bart’s obnoxious nephew, who thinks he may one day want to become a firefighter, comes to hang out at the station house and challenges Malik to a firefighter competition.
Original Air Date: January 9, 2008
No Pain, No Gain (254)
Jazmine gets appendicitis and has to have surgery. After returning home, however, she takes advantage of everyone by making them wait on her hand and foot. Meanwhile, Curtis is determined to rid the station house of a pesky rat by any means possible, including hiring a “rat whisperer.”
Original Air Date: January 16, 2008
Devil in a Blue Suit (255)
Janine is starting to act strangely, leading everyone to think she may be using again even though she insists she isn’t. When she shows up at home with a black eye, the family decides it’s time to take action. Meanwhile, Malik is determined to pay for a new pair of sneakers with money from his new paper route. But his business sense leaves a lot of room for improvement.
Original Air Date: January 16, 2008
Bad Influence (256)
Ella has the flu, which means Curtis is in charge of the cleaning and cooking. Soon, he also has to nurse Malik, C.J., and Janine after they catch Ella’s bug. Jazmine, meanwhile, has been chosen to play the princess in her school play, but after her parents try to help her prepare, she winds up getting demoted. But Calvin has the perfect advice for her.
Original Air Date: January 23, 2008
Play On Playa (257)
A relationship counselor is writing a book on how a stressful job can put pressure on a relationship. She perceives Calvin is under a lot of stress and invites him over to her house for dinner and a chance to delve into it more privately. But Calvin misreads her signals. Ella is heading out to a revival and leaves the kids in Curtis’ care, but Curtis is not about to let anything interfere with his big poker party at the firehouse.
Original Air Date: January 23, 2008
It’s Getting Hot in Here (258)
Janine and CJ attend a wedding together, where CJ catches the eye of the lovely Tanya (Guest Star Robin Givens). But after a few too many drinks, CJ gets a little frisky with Janine, leading to an unforgettable night. And Calvin’s friends Pookie and Peanut decide to fulfill their community service by volunteering at the Curtis’ firehouse.
Original Air Date: January 30, 2008
Don’t Get It Twisted (259)
After spending the night together, Janine and CJ get grilled by the rest of the family. CJ wants to let Janine down easy, not realizing that she’s already starting to get involved with someone else. Curtis has his own marital problems when a guy named Tony becomes convinced that Curtis is having an affair with his wife.
Original Air Date: January 30, 2008
Wife Swap (260)
Curtis realizes how lucky he is to be married to Ella when he has a dream where she’s replaced by Madea.
Original Air Date: March 5, 2008
Stop Being All Funky (261)
Janine starts going out with a football player, and Jazmine and Malik raise a little funk … literally.
Original Air Date: March 5, 2008
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (262)
The members of the Payne family aren’t too thrilled when Malik invites a female schoolmate home for dinner.
Original Air Date: March 12, 2008
Game Over (263)
The Payne family members get ready for a night of fun and games.
Original Air Date: March 12, 2008
Can I Get a Witness? (264)
Calvin somehow gets the idea that he needs law enforcement’s protection, while Ella copes with potential breast cancer.
Original Air Date: March 19, 2008
Commencement Day (265)
After informing everyone he’s going to graduate from college, Calvin learns the big news isn’t necessarily true.
Original Air Date: March 19, 2008
A Shock to the System (266)
Malik’s friend is seriously injured in a car accident while staying with the Payne family, and Calvin loses a new job.
Original Air Date: March 26, 2008
Compromising Positions (267)
Curtis gets the opportunity to take on a new role at his job, and a friend of Tanya’s makes several moves on C.J.
Original Air Date: March 26, 2008
Moral Dilemma (268)
C.J. comes across some money that doesn’t belong to him and must decide what to do with it next.
Original Air Date: April 2, 2008
Sex, Lies and Videotapes (269)
The FBI uses the Payne household for a criminal investigation, and Claretha assists.
Original Air Date: April 2, 2008
Time to Clean House (270)
Claretha does a little seasonal upkeep around the house, while Calvin has to get used to being back at home.
Original Air Date: April 9, 2008
Living With Liz (271)
Curtis gets in a funk when Liz shows up unexpectedly for a visit and then seemingly forgets to leave.
Original Air Date: April 9, 2008
The Beat Down (272)
An abused woman named Sheila donates items to the firehouse clothing drive that Ella and Claretha are helping to organize.
Original Air Date: April 16, 2008
Expectations (273)
Curtis suspects that a stranger is his son, while C.J. and Janine bump into each other at a party while out with their respective dates.
Original Air Date: April 16, 2008
Cheers (274)
Janine and Bryan begin living together, and Malik tries out to become a cheerleader in order to get a beautiful girl’s telephone number and win a bet with Kevin.
Original Air Date: April 23, 2008
R-E-S-P-E-C-T Me (275)
Someone steals Claretha’s car, and Calvin looks after a brat who happens to be Miranda’s nephew.
Original Air Date: April 23, 2008
Driving Me Crazy (276)
Someone steals Claretha’s car and Calvin looks after Miranda’s ill-behaved nephew.
Original Air Date: June 4, 2008
Reunited and… It Don’t Feel So Good (277)
It’s time for Curtis, Ella, and Claretha’s college reunion, and they throw a party beforehand.
Original Air Date: June 4, 2008
What the…? (278)
When Jazmine hears Curtis cursing, she decides to put her new vocabulary to use. Meanwhile, Kiki’s not too thrilled about Dana dating his brother.
Original Air Date: June 4, 2008
Guys’ Night Out, Girls’ Night In (279)
Ella helps Jazmine calm her jealousy over a camping trip the male Paynes take by arranging a girls night for the women.
Original Air Date: June 4, 2008
How Do You Spell… It’s All About Me (280)
Jazmine wins a spelling bee, and Curtis has issues when he learns Ella has been secretly getting in shape with a personal trainer.
Original Air Date: June 11, 2008
And… Cut! (281)
Ella suddenly decides that nobody in the family can use electronic devices, and C.J. discovers that he’s adopted.
Original Air Date: June 11, 2008
Old School vs. New School (282)
Calvin’s job is threatened by financial problems at the barbershop, and Malik’s high expectations means the Paynes’ plans to celebrate his birthday might not satisfy him.
Original Air Date: June 18, 2008
Fire and Desire (283)
Ella’s entry into menopause takes a toll on the entire family, and Malik becomes a bad boy in order to attract a girl he likes.
Original Air Date: June 18, 2008
Unsung Heroes (284)
Malik must choose the subject of a school essay about his role model, while Calvin and his friends plan a surprise party for another friend returning from military service in Iraq.
Original Air Date: June 25, 2008
Pissed, Poor and Paranoid (285)
CJ is stalked by a woman, and Curtis helps Malik and Jazmine learn about managing money by making them help with a charity drive at the firehouse.
Original Air Date: June 25, 2008
True Lies (286)
Calvin’s friend Peanut (Clayton English) pretends to be a Payne and the owner of the barbershop in order to impress a woman, and Malik and his friend Kevin (Kyre Batiste-Loftin) contemplate playing hooky from school with two girls.
Original Air Date: July 2, 2008
That Sounds Sweet (287)
In his quest to impress a girl, Malik decides to learn how to play the saxophone, while Ella gets the grand idea of starting a business due to her past success selling homemade deserts.
Original Air Date: July 2, 2008
Meet the Lucases (288)
Calvin gets anxious about impressing Miranda’s parents when they arrive in town, and the Paynes experience a health scare.
Original Air Date: July 9, 2008
Out on a Limb (289)
Calvin begins shopping for an engagement ring after he decides to ask Miranda to become his wife. Meanhwile, Ella, Claretha, Jazmine, and a friend of Jazmine get lost in the woods during a trip.
Original Air Date: July 9, 2008
To Have and to Hold (290)
Janine returns unexpectedly, just as Calvin’s plans to ask Miranda to marry him are complicated when he loses the engagement ring. Meanwhile, two people strike up a romance at the barbershop.
Original Air Date: July 16, 2008
Can’t Buy Me Love (291)
Calvin gets cold feet after he decides to ask Miranda to marry him, and his friends Peanut (Clayton English) and Pookie (Quincy Bonds) make the situation worse when they try to help.
Original Air Date: July 16, 2008
Unexpected Results (292)
CJ has a difficult time breaking some news to Tanya (Guest Star Robin Givens), and Jazmine’s teacher recommends she attend a school for gifted students in North Carolina when she performs exceptionally on an aptitude test.
Original Air Date: July 23, 2008
Let’s Get Ready to Rumble (293)
CJ and Janine have a scary encounter with a robber at the barbershop when they go out to buy items for Jazmine’s slumber party.
Original Air Date: July 23, 2008
Father’s Day (294)
Curtis’ father and Calvin’s fiancée Miranda (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) learn they have something in common.
Original Air Date: July 30, 2008
Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? (295)
Ella transforms into a monster-in-law while “helping” Miranda (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) and Calvin register for wedding gifts, and when CJ and Janine go on an unplanned date, their children begin hoping they’ll reunite.
Original Air Date: July 30, 2008
All Is Not Lost (296)
When Calvin and Miranda seek premarital counseling, it only worsens Miranda’s (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) concerns about getting married instead of alleviating them.
Original Air Date: July 30, 2008
Party Over Here! (297)
The bachelor party that Calvin’s friends want to throw for him causes problems with Miranda (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) after Calvin tells her the party will be canceled.
Original Air Date: August 6, 2008
The Last Supper (298)
An unexpected guest, drunken behavior, unrequested marriage advice, and a bout of illness turn Calvin and Miranda’s (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) wedding rehearsal and dinner into a disaster.
Original Air Date: August 6, 2008
We’ve Come This Far by Faith, Part 1 (299)
When Miranda’s (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) father helps to deliver triplets, the delay is just another complication on Calvin and Miranda’s wedding day.
Original Air Date: August 6, 2008
We’ve Come This Far by Faith, Part 2 (300)
The problems just will not go away on Calvin and Miranda’s (Guest Star Keshia Knight Pulliam) wedding day.
Original Air Date: August 6, 2008
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