How I Met Your Mother even features a couple of cool voice-only cameos from sports figures Jim Nantz and Phil Simms, both prominent members of CBS’ on-air sports departments.

Continue below for assorted spoilers and preview videos.

How I Met Your Mother | 8pm

Rabbit or Duck: Robing gets a party invite from an annoying co-worker, and Lily and Marshall fix Ted up with one of Barney’s many castoffs when they forget to find him a more appropriate Valentine’s Day blind date. Will the lucky rejected woman end up being the title mother? Who knows at this late stage, five seasons in… (CBS hasn’t posted any related clips.)

Accidentally on Purpose | 8:30pm

Back to School: While Billie worries that she’s no match for Zack’s gorgeous ex when she barges in at his high school reunion, Abby and Olivia attempt to get people to buy some alleged “youth juice” that Abby is selling. The promo follows.

Two and a Half Men | 9pm

Aye, Aye, Captain: The huge Green-Eyed Monster constantly looking over Charlie’s shoulder threatens to sabotage his relationship with Chelsea. Check out the promo below.

The Big Bang Theory | 9:30pm

The Large Hadron Collision: Since he’s only allowed to bring one guest, Leonard must decide who to take with him on a Valentine’s Day trip to Switzerland to see the largest and highest energy particle accelerator in the world, CERN’s Large Hadron Collider. A sneak peek and promo for the episode follow.

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He plays Brad, Alan’s lawyer, whose help is desperately needed…

…After Alan gets into a fight at a bar (yes, a bar fight!!!) and ends up in jail. Worse — for Charlie, at least — it seems Chelsea might have a thing for the attorney.

Check out the quickie promo for “Crude and Uncalled For” below. Shocker! As the clip clearly shows, Alan is actually the one who delivers the first blow during the public brawl. Wonders never cease.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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And featured on Accidentally on Purpose and Two and a Half Men are guest stars Michael Rapaport (My Name is Earl) and Stacy Keach (Titus), respectively.

Continue reading for details and preview clips.

Accidentally on Purpose | 8:30pm

The Rock: Rapaport, who just happens to be the brother of the comedy’s executive producer Claudia Lonow, reprises his role as sports writer Sully. When Billie collaborates with Sully on an article, she learns some interesting news about their newspaper. Also, Zack and Davis decide to start a business that focuses on sandwiches. The promo for “The Rock” follows.

Two and a Half Men | 9pm

Yay, No Polyps!: Prison Break alum Keach drops by TV’s most popular sitcom to play Chelsea’s father Tom. Although Charlie avoids visiting him and Chelsea’s bigoted mother Martha (Meagen Fay of Malcolm in the Middle) by scheduling a colonoscopy instead, he gets a not-so-nice surprise when he returns home to find them inside. The promo for “Yay, No Polyps!” follows.

The Big Bang Theory | 9:30pm

The Bozeman Reaction: Poor Leonard and Sheldon! After the roommates’ apartment becomes the scene of a robbery, they enlist their buddies to help create a high-tech security system. The promo for “The Bozeman Reaction” follows.

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Besides the title, the January 11 episode also has recurring cast member Ryan Stiles going for it. The Drew Carey Show veteran plays Herb, the present husband of Alan’s ex-wife Judith.

While lovelorn Jake busies himself writing love songs for his former girlfriend, Alan and Herb do what it takes to conceal their friendship from Judith. How much you wanna bet they’re gonna fail, and miserably at that?

Take a look at the promo clip for “Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste” below and tune in at 9pm ET.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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The showbiz veteran plays the well-matched role of Marty, a famous television producer.

The main focus of the plot is Charlie’s attempts to teach Jake how to be unfaithful while his girlfriend is out of town for the holidays. Gotta love the industrious, dedicated Harper men — they know what they want.

A brief promo clip for “Warning, It’s Dirty,” featuring Reiner and lots of holiday gear, follows.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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Things are looking tense between Charlie and his wife-to-be Chelsea.

The cause of the strife is Charlie’s discovery that Chelsea hasn’t told him all he needs to know about her financial situation. Why he cares, considering how much money he has himself, I know not.

A short promo video for “That’s Why They Call It Ball Room” follows.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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The title refers to the younger Harper brother’s thrifty solution for his thinning hair.

Meanwhile, Charlie must face an equally crushing reality: learning that he hasn’t been exactly knocking his fiancée Chelsea’s socks off in the sack.

The promo for “Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair” follows. Clearly, Alan is really lovin’ his new product, so good for him. Hope it actually works and doesn’t make his problem even “harrier.”

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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Helfer plays Gail…

…the former college roommate of Charlie’s fiancée Chelsea, who invites her to the Harper home for a little recuperation time following a bad breakup.

In honor of Helfer’s total awesomeness, CBS has a sneak peek, as well as the usual promo clip. Looks like poor Alan is a wee bit smitten (massive understatement, I know), while Charlie is just doing the expected lust thing.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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Not only do Alan and Charlie wake up in the same bed one day…

But they both happen to be sharing that bed with a strange woman when they open their eyes. So, is that a fantasy or a nightmare? You never can tell with those two, and it could be both to both.

The promo for “Untainted by Filth” is below.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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After Alan takes it upon himself to suggest to Charlie’s fiancée Chelsea that she get a certain part of her anatomy surgically reduced (and it can’t be that difficult to guess which part he’s talking about)…

…Charlie takes it upon himself to retaliate by reducing the size of his household, as in kicking Alan out. Uh-oh.

Take a look at the episode promo below.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays on CBS at 9pm ET.

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