The Big Bang Theory welcomes guest star Lewis Black as Professor Crawley on the September 28 episode “The Jiminy Conjecture.”

On the September 18 third-season premiere “The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation,” the guys had to journey all the way to Texas to apologize and lure angry Sheldon back home after Wolowitz opened his big mouth and revealed they tampered with his data during the North Pole expedition, guaranteeing there will be no Nobel Prize for it in the future. Thankfully, Sheldon’s no-nonsense (and ever-so-slightly racist) mother Mary (Laurie Metcalfe, Roseanne) helped ensure the guys would succeed on their Texas mission.

The September 28 episode of Two and a Half Men, TV’s highest-rated sitcom, is called “Whipped Unto the Third Generation.”

Now that the seventh-season premiere “818-jklpuzo” has forced Charlie to realize that his ex-girlfriend Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier, CSI: NY) isn’t “the one” for him — mostly because she sings like a wounded animal and has the ability to make him constipated — he’s presumably ready to finally really settle down with his fiancée Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor, Ghost Whisperer).

Last week, CBS debuted its latest sitcom, the Jenna Elfman show Accidentally on Purpose. Next in line is the September 28 episode “Memento.”

During the September 18 pilot, viewers meet Elfman’s 37-year-old character Billie, a film critic who realized during a recent trip to Paris that James (Grant Show, Swingtown), her shallow boss/then-boyfriend, has no intention of making her an honest woman anytime soon.

Coming up on How I Met Your Mother on September 28 is the brand-new episode “Double Date.”

During the September 21 fifth-season premiere “Definitions,” Lily and her henchman, aka Marshall, nag Barney and Robin into admitting that they’ve been an informal couple for some time.

Episode: Chuck Versus the Ring
Original Air Date: April 27, 2009
Was “Chuck Versus the Ring” a fantastic season finale or what?
First, Life, then The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and now Chuck. Many of my current favorite TV series happen to be sophomore Bubble Shows, and they’ve all ended their latest seasons with a bang so huge, it makes you wonder how they came to be endangered in the first place. Or, rather, it makes you wonder why more viewers aren’t checking out such great television.
The “ring” in the title of tonight’s Chuck season finale has a double meaning. All …read more

Episode: Training Day
Original Air Date: April 1, 2009
NOTE: This series and recap contain mature themes and language.
If you think someone’s going to explicitly tell you who died in the explosion at the end of the fifth-season finale during Reno 911!’s sixth-season premiere, you’d better think again.
The action begins with hot-shorted Lieutenant Jim Dangle’s exclamation, “Holy poop. I thought we got canceled.” I can’t tell if he’s happy or sad to have the camera crew back around, though.

Original Air Date: October 14, 2008
On the season opener of Eli Stone, Eli is back, alive, and in a pretty foul funk. It’s been six months since the Season One-ending brain surgery on his aneurysm, and although the operation appears to have worked, removing all traces of the medical problem and the accompanying divine visions, Eli has clearly lost his “faith and prophecy” mojo as a result.
The episode begins with a stark change for Eli. As he walks down the street, he hears music for the first time since before his surgery. It’s Patti belting out Martha …read more

Original Air Date: October 13, 2008
We’re just three episodes into the second season, and Chuck is holding up mighty darn well. It’s great to see a fairly new series keep getting better and better, which is definitely the case here. The cast, the acting, the plots, the guest stars — everything is still clicking and delivering.
“Chuck Versus the Break-Up” opens in 2005, with undercover partners Sarah and Bryce posing as Mr. and Mrs. Anderson during a dangerous mission in Bogotá, Colombia. Bryce is captured by one goon after a brief chase through the streets, but alert Sarah …read more

Original Air Date: October 13, 2008
Goody for Sam! During the season premiere of Samantha Who?, our girl is on a high because she’s leaving her parent’s nest for the second time and returning to her own apartment. The only problem, as she quickly learns when she’s blissfully dancing around almost naked, is that she’s not alone because Todd is still there.
His last client, a bride, stiffed him on a wedding shoot because she didn’t like his work. So, it’s up to eager lawyer Andrea to, as she puts it, make the bride cry and kick him out …read more

Original Air Date: October 10, 2008
Everything comes out in the open during this episode of The Game as the three main characters gather for an afternoon swim. As a result, they all learn that Kelly is divorcing Jason, Melanie’s man Derwin has a baby on the way with Janay, and Tasha is sleeping with Rick Fox (couldn’t they have given him a fictional name? — I feel weird writing that).
In fact, it’s Tasha who speaks up and refuses to go along with Melanie’s immature plan to sabotage Janay by dragging her name through the mud. A single black …read more